Archive | February, 2016

Wasting Time

28 Feb

I’m noticing I’m spending too much time on Facebook, again. I’m not going to lie. I’ve been checking my blogs that I put on Facebook. In other words, I’ve been looking for recognition in people instead of Jesus. 

See, I told y’all I struggle, too. Like we say in Celebrate Recovery, I have my hurts, habits, and hang ups. I’m sure a lot of us do. I really don’t believe that we can escape this sinful world without a hang up, a habit, or a hurt.

A lot of the spiritual heroes in the Bible struggled, too. They struggled with faith, adultery, idols, multiple marriages, etc. We’re just as human as they were. 

I’ll be the first person to tell you that I’m not perfect in anyway!! I won’t be perfect until I get to heaven. PRAISE GOD!! GLORY HALLELUJAH!!

I desire a deep, intimate love relationship with Jesus. I don’t ever want to get enough of Him. I desire to love Him with ALL of my heart, soul, mind, and strength!! I can’t do that by spending time on Facebook. 

Instead, I need to be in the Word. I could listen to worship music. I can listen to a Bible study (Revive Our Hearts) and even sermons I’ve missed. I don’t want to waste the precious time God gives me each day I’m here.

Are you wasting your time? What are you wasting it on? TV, Internet, social media? Don’t waste your time!! We can’t ever spend too much time with Jesus.


God’s Gift to Me

26 Feb

It’s the best thing in the world,

To be a God girl.

I’m a daughter and a princess,

Of your Highness.

My Father is the King of kings,

And He makes my heart sing.

I was blind, but now I see,

Why He willing laid down His life for me.

He’s turning my mourning into dancing,

And it’s me, He’s romancing.

I’m so glad that I am His,

And thankful He took the nails in His wrists.

He will NEVER leave,

Or forsake me.

He loves me more than I can understand,

He is also my Husband.(Isaiah 54:5)

He’s adopted me as His child,

He makes my life worthwhile.

He’s everything I’ve ever wanted and more,

I’ve never been loved like this before.

Yes, I am a princess,

And I will continue to serve His highness.



25 Feb

Since Adam and Eve made the decision to eat of the tree of knowledge, there have been consequences to disobedience. God threw Adam and Eve out of their perfect surroundings. They were banished from the garden forever. 

That wasn’t all. Adam and Eve had to sacrifice the first offering ever. It had to be done for the price of their disobedience. This was the very first picture of something innocent being sacrificed due to sin. In the end; the ultimate sin offering, would be Jesus.

God also told Adam that he would toil the ground. Eve was told that her child bearing would be multiplied. They would also turn back to dust once they died.

There are times, God will tell us something to do or not to do. Just like with Adam and Eve, we have a choice. We can obey or disobey. 

In 2009, a short term mission trip opportunity came up in my church. The trip would be a few days in Biloxi, MS. We would be helping serve at a women’s conference.

I had just started on my journey to healing. I had just started taking my medicine the doctor prescribed for me. I thought it’d be fine to go on a mission trip.

I did talk my counselor about it. She recommended I not go. She didn’t think I was emotionally ready. Tracy told me I didn’t need to go, and a very dear friend of mine told me not to go. I decided I knew better than all of them out together.

In spite of everyone telling me not to go, I went anyway. While we were setting the tables, a lady said something to me. Of course, it didn’t hit me the right way. I started crying, and it ruined the whole time I was there. 

I wanted to go home, but I couldn’t go home. Tracy said he would come get me. My dear friend told me that she would come get me. I couldn’t go home since I had come from the church. I was so depressed that whole weekend.

See, God tried to use others to tell me not to go. There wasn’t only one person, but three all together. God let me go and step into my own mess.

When I decided to disobey God, God said,”Okay, Christina, you think you know better.” He let me find out right quick that I MUST listen to Him, no matter what. After all, Adam and Eve didn’t listen either. 

My consequences were short lived. Even though, I felt like I would never get home.  There are times our consequences can be worse and last longer.

Adam’s and Eve’s consequences lasted them a lifetime. The consequences of disobedience can be a few days, can be years, or even for a lifetime. The consequences can be physical, spiritual, mental, emotional, or financial. 

We need to be sure to ALWAYS, ALWAYS obey God. Be sure to listen when God speaks. Disobedience can cause you dire consequences. It can cost you in so many ways. IT’S NOT WORTH IT!!!! 

Be Mindful

24 Feb

…But we have the mind of Christ. 1 Corinthians 2:16. 

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2 ESV
I’m sitting here; at the dealership, waiting for my vehicle. It’s time for an oil change. My hubby was nice enough to get my oil changes with my vehicle.

There are soaps on the tv in the lounge area. Country music is playing over the speakers here in the dealership. I was hoping for head phones in my purse; so I can listen to something uplifting and God worthy. No such luck.

Through the quickening of the Holy Spirit, I quit watching soap operas many years ago. When God showed me what they were really about, I knew it wasn’t good to be feeding that to my soul. Soaps are full of lying, deceit, adultery, fornication, homosexual relationships, etc. Soap operas are what’s considered soft porn. To me, porn is porn, no matter the type.

A little over a month ago, I decided to give up the country music. I do listen to a few songs now and again. For me, it’s listening to the Bible, worship music that glorifies God, or a listening to a Bible based program like Revive Our Hearts. 

The country music was causing some of my anger issues. It was triggering some things from the past. It caused me to beat myself up by saying, “I should have done…” or “I should have done ….” 

That’s what most country music is about. If I would have had the right girl, if I would have had the right guy, if…. A lot of “if’s.” It also talks about drinking, adultery, fornication, sexualizes women & men’s bodies.  Have you ever seen any of the music videos?!?! 

You may watch soaps or listen to country music and it not quicken your spirit. You may watch things on tv that may quicken my spirit, but it not quicken yours.

We should ask ourselves, “Is this the kind of stuff that needs to fill up the mind of Christ?” “Will this transform my mind to be more like Christ?” “Would Jesus watch or listen to this?” 

Yes, I watch TV. I watch the old fashioned shows like Andy Griffith, Bonanza, and the older cartoons. I do watch some modern shows, but I do try to be careful of what I’m feeding my soul. 

We need to remember what we feed our hearts and souls is what comes out. It may come out through our actions or through what we say. It will come out; sooner or later.

What are you feeding your soul? What are you watching on TV? What kind of music do you listen to? What is it doing to your heart, soul, and mind? As I always say and I can’t say it enough, “Pray for God to search your innermost parts!!!!


22 Feb

The Bible tells us to enter His presence with thanksgiving, Psalm 95:2. There are a lot more scripture than that to tell us teach us about thanksgiving. I’ve always wanted to jump right to it, and tell God what I wanted instead of giving God what He wanted; praise and thanksgiving. God deserves ALL of our praise and thanksgiving.

Only once; since I’ve known Jesus as my Lord and Savior, have I taken my prayer time and turned it into thanksgiving time. No, it’s not possible to thank God for everything He has done for us and given to us. It doesn’t hurt to try, though. After all, He takes the time to bless me.

I know women that have been on short term mission trips in third world countries like Africa, Lebanon, Southeast Asia, etc. There are even a few that are full time missionaries in these countries. I’ve heard them talk about the “plumbing” some of these places have. Some countries just have a hole in the ground for a toilet. Some countries don’t have clean water. So, every time I take a nice, warm shower, I try to say, “Thank You Jesus.”

Since God opened the door for me to be a part of R3 Ministries, I have learned to be thankful for things like soap, shampoo, toothbrush, toothpaste, being able to go to the doctor, being able to go to the dentist, being free from a pimp. I never realized what and how much I took for granted. They don’t get to go to the hospital. They don’t to get to go to the doctor. They don’t get to go to the dentist.

I also want to thank God for what He’s doing in my life. It seems like so much has changed in a short time. I’ll give you an example. Earlier, Tracy wanted me to go somewhere with him. Tracy is my husband. I told him that I needed to go get ready. It takes me anywhere between 45 minutes-1 hour to flat iron my hair. He told me to wait. Needless to say, he waits until about 20 minutes before he has to leave to tell me to get ready.

There was no way I was going to be able flat iron my hair and look presentable in 20 minutes. I told him there was no way I could get ready in 20 minutes. He said, “Okay.”

Before he left, I was cleaning one of our bathrooms. He came to kiss me by. I really didn’t want to because I was upset. I felt rejected by Tracy. He walked outside. I quietly walked into our bedroom and shut the door. I had to cry and get it out.

He came back into the house, and walked into our bedroom. He asked me what was wrong. I said, “Nothing;” which was a lie. I did end up telling him that I felt hurt. I told him that I can’t depend on him for what I need or want.

Ladies, who is the only person that will ever give us what we want or need with no questions asked?!?! JESUS!!!! I know that. I was praying to Jesus in my head asking Him to wrap His arms around me at that very moment.

Anyway, about 10 minutes later, I was through crying. I don’t even know if it was that long. I got up and went back to cleaning my bathroom.

Two months ago, this situation would have been a different story. I would have been mad as hell. I would have went into a tangent. More than likely, I would have Tracy. I would have spent the whole day mad and crying. My whole day would have been wasted over one little situation where I felt rejected.

So, I want to give thanks to the One that deserves it; Jesus. I could never ever thank Him enough. I’m excited to see what another two months will bring. Hopefully, by then, I’ll be able to take the rejection and just move on without even crying. I can just rest in the love of Jesus.

I used to tell a dear friend of mine that I needed to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I wanted to make sure all of it was real. I don’t have to say that anymore, because I know that it is real. I deserve this. I deserve to be loved and accepted unconditionally. I am every day.

Ladies, try to remember to be thankful. Even if only a couple of minutes a day; saying a few quick thank You’s to God. It’ll make your day go a whole lot better. It can be a little light added to the dark.
















Search Me, O God (Part2)

21 Feb

The spirit of man is the lamp of the Lord, searching all his innermost parts. Proverbs 20:27

I love the way God works. I love the way that God is revealing things to me. It has been a blessing.

Have you ever realized that there are thirty one proverbs in the Bible? This is no accident. A proverb is defined as a brief statement that expresses truth; a parable. That’s why God has placed thirty one of them in the Bible. I read one for each day of the month. Example: Today, I’ll read Proverbs 21.

God has been speaking to me about searching my heart. When I read this yesterday, I knew that God was speaking to me again. This verse goes into more depth stating that the Holy Spirit needs to search our innermost parts.

So, I decided to look up the word innermost. The definition of innermost is the most private and deeply felt feelings. Some synonyms of innermost are: intimate, private, personal, secret, and hidden. Ouch! That hit me big time.

Now, for the definition of search. The definition of search is to seek carefully and thoroughly. In so many words, God needs to look carefully and thoroughly to the deepest. darkest parts of my heart, soul, and mind. The biggest thing is that I have to be willing to let God to carefully and thoroughly look into those deep, dark parts.

It’s not the easiest thing to be that open; even to God. I don’t like being vulnerable. I’ve been vulnerable before, and people took advantage of me. I have to remember that this is God; my Almighty Father. He’s not going to do anything to hurt me.

I know that there are things that I need to change. I don’t know all of the things that I need to change. The only way for me to find out is to let God search my innermost parts. Like in anything else; I HAVE to be willing to let God search. If I am not willing, it’s not going to do me any good.

This searching is real important in the Bible. I just looked up some other verses with the word search in it with the meaning to look carefully and thoroughly. Job 10:6, Psalm 139:23, Psalm 64:6, Proverbs 25:2, Psalm 77:6, Psalm  139:1. These are just a few examples.

The greatest commandment is to love Jesus with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength. (Luke 10:27). How can I love Jesus like that if I am not willing to let Him search me deeply? I must be willing to let God search me deeply so I can love Him deeply. I have to be willing to let God go way beyond the surface.

What about you? Are you really willing to let God look thoroughly in the deepest, darkest parts of you? Do you just want to be a surface person? Do you want a more intimate relationship with Jesus? Do you want to love Jesus with all of your heart, mind, soul, and strength? You must be willing to let God search your innermost parts!!!!

I am going to tell you something. I can actually feel God’s hand on my heart. Friday night, during our worship service at Celebrate Recovery, I was dancing with Jesus. I have never felt anything like this since 2009; when I made Jesus my Lord and Savior. It’s only because I have been willing to let God carefully look into my deepest, darkest parts of my heart, soul, and mind.

If you’re ready for a deep, intimate relationship with Jesus, I encourage to let your innermost parts be searched by God. It will change your relationship with Jesus. I promise you.








Search Me, O God

19 Feb

Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23 ESV.

This has become another one of my favorite passages. These passages are very powerful and have a lot of truth in them. This has been my daily prayer.

Last night; in OAGW (Overcoming Abuse God’s Way)-we talked about judgement. We talked about how we need to self examine our selves before judging anyone else. That goes back to a blog I wrote last week; about the log in my eye. I have to look at the log in my own eye before I take the speck out of my brothers eye.

See, I pray for God to search my heart. I have to. I know that there are things that I need to change. It takes God to show me what I need to change and how I need to change it. In fact, last night, I prayed: “God, search the deepest, darkest parts of my heart, soul, and mind.” I want God to dig below the surface. I want Him to dig as deep as He needs to. That will be the only way, I can become the woman of God that He wants me to be.

In the last few days, I have actually felt God’s hand on my heart. He’s making and molding my heart to a heart like His. I am trying to be faithful to become more like Him. I want to be like Paul in Philippians 3:14 ESV “I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” My goal is to be like Jesus. My prize will be eternity in heaven serving Him.

Here’s what I  pray: Lord, search my heart. I also want you to search my soul and mind. Search the deepest, darkest areas of my heart, soul, and mind. Turn on Your search light. Show me what I need to change and how I need to change it. Teach me to love you with ALL of my heart, soul, mind, and strength. Teach me to love like You do; unconditionally. Know my thoughts. Don’t let me be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of my mind. Lead me on the path of everlasting life. Help me to keep my focus on you and totally depend on You. For Your glory, honor, and praise. In Jesus’ name, amen.

If you really want to have a more intimate relationship with Jesus, I will encourage you and urge you to pray for God to search your heart. I promise He will show you what you need to change. I can actually feel God’s hand on my heart. I have never felt anything like that before. I feel Him making and molding my heart to be like His heart. I pray that you want God to make and mold to be like Him.