Archive | May, 2017

The Journey to a Better Me

26 May

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭2:10‬ ‭ESV‬‬

My journey to a better me started in 2009. I had placed a lot of bad experiences in the back of my mind. Let me tell you, a person that can only do that for so long. The experiences of my childhood came back like rushing water that comes from a broken dam.

When I first started my journey, there were things that I didn’t want to deal with. I didn’t want to get to the roots of my issues. To tell you the truth, I was afraid of what I’d find. So, I didn’t totally use the counsel I was receiving at the time.

Well; in 2013, God showed me that I needed to get to the roots of my issues. God “jump started” my healing when I attended a Woman at the Well workshop held by Shannon Ethridge. God showed me some things in the 4 short days I was there.

I decided I was ready to dig out those roots; no matter how much it hurt. I was ready to heal. I was ready to become a better me. I knew God could use my story to help other hurting women, and that’s what I wanted to do.

Since then, God has dug up a lot of roots out of me. He continues to dig out roots more and more; which I am thankful for. I surely couldn’t do it without Him. That’s for sure!!!!

A couple of years ago, I became a part of a sex trafficking ministry. Through that ministry, I met a young woman. I shared a little of my story with her. She told me about OAGW (Overcoming Abuse God’s Way). This would turn out to be one of the best blessings for me.

Through OAGW, I was able to work through childhood abuse. Yet, I still wasn’t getting to the roots of things like anger, bitterness, resentment, self hated, etc. I was a work in progress.

The leader; Janet Napper, offered life coaching to me. I had heard of life coaching, but didn’t know what to expect. I’ll tell you that it’s like counseling but on a much deeper level. God showed me right quick that I had to be willing to dig some more roots out.

Last year, my church, started CR (Celebrated Recovery). Celebrated Recovery is a Bible based program that is drawn from the Beatitudes in the Bible. Matthew 5:3-11. It’s for those with hurts, habits, and hang ups; which I believe is all of us. I don’t believe we can escape this life unscathed.

I also chose to do the step study. Step study help me dig up some more roots; especially when I did my personal inventory. The inventory included events of the past, how it hurt me, and my responsibility in what happened. I’ll say; the inventory included the good and the bad.

Now; over a year later, I still continue to meet with Janet. I continue to attend CR. I resigned from my position on the sex trafficking ministry; which was through God’s guidance. God has allowed me to become Outreach Coordinator of OAGW.

I also decided to go back to school. I’ll be going in the fall; which I almost can’t believe. I’ve been out of school for 26 years. I am excited!!!!

Yet, God isn’t done yet. Like a song says, “I’m unfinished.” God is still working on me. I’ll never arrive on this side of heaven. I won’t reach perfection until I’m in heaven. I’m excited about the future God has laid before me.

The Empty Cradle

11 May

All of her dreams have been shattered,

So, where did the hope even matter?

It all seems so unfair,

The empty cradle gets her blank stare.

The nights she hope and prayed,

Her dreams to come true one day.

Her heart all break broken,

And her dreams now have been frozen.

The tears fall down her face,

As she sees the empty cradle that fills up space.

It would have been her dream come true,

For a little girl or two.

She doesn’t understand,

What God has planned.

For now, the tears will fall like rain,

Because she can’t hide the pain.

The pain is almost too much to bear,

That’s why she’s in so much dispair.

It will take awhile to heal,

It just doesn’t seem real.

The pain will become easier to bear,

It will take a lot of prayer.

On this Mother’s Day,

Remember those who have no child on this special day in May.

By: Christina R. Blaney